Morning musings... What does this parent really want for her child?

Mere ghar aayi ek nanhi pari
Ek nanhi pari, Ek nanhi pari

I used to sing this to our first born, our nanhi pari, who entered our lives, our hearts, our home seven years ago. Words shall forever fail to explain the thrill of a parent holding her baby for the first time - the one that you made, the one you will nurture and help grow and learn, the one whose infectious laugh and mischievous smile and antics will fill your lives with joy. Of course, also the one that will make you pull your hair apart, punch your pillows in quiet rage, the one whose countless ‘Why Amma??’ questions will make you think ‘What was I thinking!?!’ (This is not a sponsored blog, so I WILL state the real picture, thank you). But it’s funny how you still feel everything is perfect at the end of the day, how you could not have been happier if it weren’t for your children– the little ones who always bring a smile to your tired faces, who teach you to enjoy the little things in life and be happy in the moment, the ones who influence you to do things you’ve never done and never thought capable of doing, the ones who help you become a better you. Indeed, the ones who have given you this life you lead. It has been a happy merry-go-round for us.

So, why so thoughtful today? What happened? Well, this first-born of ours started her first day today at her new school. After a tough decision-making period spanning more than a year, we decided last winter to take the plunge and move her to an independent school. But she’s been to school before. We’ve experienced the regular – half-eaten lunches, tiffs with friends today and playing again with them the next day, birthday parties, early morning screaming and rushing. Been there, done that. So what’s new? As your child grows and as time goes by, parents are exposed to a myriad of experiences and learnings. New books, new trends, new classes and games, new benchmarks, new what-nots. And if you are a parent of a little one today, you know it is not too tough to be impelled by all that’s new and exciting. After all, we wish for our children to have all that we couldn’t, and all that we can contrive to provide. You make sacrifices so your children can have the life they deserve, like your parents did before you, and their parents before them.

But what I find myself thinking today is what is it that I really wish for my child as she starts a new chapter. This is, after all, a promising beginning for her – top rated school, fantastic teachers and carers, opportunities galore, competition, challenges, exposure to a gamut of experiences. Truly, the world is her oyster. I remember something I read recently in a book where a reluctant parent of an autistic child comes to terms with caring for his child – “When you start out as a parent, you have these big ambitions for your child: success, popularity, brilliance. But as life goes on, sometimes that scales back to something much more profound. Happiness”.

And so it comes to pass this morning at the school gates, as I close my eyes to rein in the emotion that I feel as I kiss and bid her a good day that I find myself wishing for her only one thing. I want her to be truly happy. To make friends, laugh and play, wake up with a smile and be enthused to begin an exciting new day, every day. Yes of course, I do want her to be successful, to seek and realise her potential, be responsible and sensible, but I also know now that if you take care of one thing right, everything else will follow. I’m not worried. I have resolved to not worry. This benchmark is good enough for me and I hope I get it right.

Tu dhoop Hai, Chham Se Bikhar, Tu Hai Nadi O Bekhabar
Beh Chal Kahin, Udd Chal Kahin
Dil Khush Jahaan, Teri Toh Manzil Hai Wahin!!

Tujh mein agar pyaas hai, barish ka ghar bhi paas hai
Roke tujhe koi kyun bhala, sang sang tere aakaash hai

Roshan hui saari zameen, jagmag hua saara jahaan
Ho udne ko tu azaad hai, bandhan koi ab hai kahaan

Someday down the line, when I show this write-up to my daughter, I hope she gives me a hug and a kiss and says, ‘Yes Amma, you did get it right!’.  Oh, how happy will that make me!